Spring break 2005 has come and gone…and what to I have shown of things that I have accomplished besides a 40 hour work week, a sun burn, having to replace two tires on my car, and a sense of un-satisfaction? My original goal this week was to go to FSU and scope out places to live and the type of environment there. Unfortunately, things turned the wrong way and not only is my FSU Business school acceptance taking forever, but OW doesn’t want to let me graduate because they said FSU wouldn’t accept one of my classes when they said they would! By Friday I was stuck driving through Pensacola during its worst flood stage with a popped tire that could not be patched. Not only did this cause me to stall out at the Big Ten tire place for quite a few hours, but I didn’t get to even visit the business that I was supposed to visit.
I learned something today about myself that I have never really understood, or just failed to comprehend before. While sitting idle at a location in Pensacola this morning, I had an epifocal moment the basically laid out my inner workings. The way I process happiness, in terms of satisfaction, is through what I get accomplished in a day. Whether it be a day at school, work, or just laying around, I always measure myself and my day by what I have done to further along my journey in life. This kind of reminds me of a commission hungry salesman at a new car lot…always looking for the next kill or customer per se. But I think the object that made me come to this conclusion is the way I manage my time and life in comparison to my mood. For example, all day I was restless and in a hurry no matter where I went. When I sat down and analyzed this it was because I had not accomplished anything today and so I was unsatisfied with the way things were going. This brings me to my main point that I realized…
So is happiness the result of rational activity and/or the pursuit of pleasure? I think it is neither in my circumstance. In the pursuit of rational activity I would pursue only those things that hold a commodity level of importance: food, school, work, and exercise. The down side to this stance is that technically I do get happiness from the deeds of these works if they are successful, but it also leads to a sense of utter mental exhaustion. The pursuit of things that I consider pleasure: car, boat, free time, the gym, and having a loved one, approach at a different tangent. To focus solely on these pleasures would take away the very power that I grasp due to the lack of attention to my necessary civil duties. The only logical answer for a good life in my situation is to find somewhat of a logical equilibrium between these two extremes. Sometimes though, the hardest thing in this world is to find the mean among all the hodge podge that attacks you.
During this epiphany though, I came across another situation that I was in at that very moment…Do I act upon things for my own benefit or for that of others? At first it is very easy to say, “of course I act for the benefit of others” and shame on you if you did because close examination of ones inner ethical aspects, reveals that everyone must come to the realization of egoism and utilitarianism, which is the greatest happiness principle. In this search for the perfect mean or equilibrium as I mentioned above, do I pursue that with through a sense of hedonism, acts of altruism, or by just mere actions? For the mind set of self gratification leads to a selfish personality that gets people no-where. This form of a psychological egoist is often found in almost every community running political organizations, PTA clubs, on church counsels, and is one of the most influential people in the community. So I guess what this boils down to is where do you put your pursuit of happiness? In the benefit of others, yourself, or both? Of course this model is in a vacuum…apply this projection to love and you really get a mind boggling set of questions that lead you to no concrete answer…well, at least not for me anyways.
Best Wishes, Joshua Price