I know I have already posted for today, but I have had a wierd experience tonight that I really feel like I should write about. I really don't know what started this feeling but I went up to the church tonight to practice for our 40 days of purpose celebration festival. With the events that have taken place over the past few weeks on my mind I got in my car and went to church. I have to give a little background first so you can understand. Before the ex-G.F. and I seperated, I guess you could say I had a mild dependancy of her and it was the kind of dependancy that is developed for a marraige, which is a little pre-mature of course. Well, I don't think I had gotten over that dependancy until tonight. As I was driving to church all the things in my mind were bogging me down. Once I was there and we started practicing I had this really wierd feeling come over me.
Have you ever had this urge in you like you half to have something or else you know you are not going to live? It's like when ever you are starving and have very low blood sugar and you long just for something to nourish your body. I felt that way tonight as we were worshiping except for it wasn't a craving for anything earthly. No it was more of a longing for something other than anything on this earth could provide. It was a total longing for God, calling me to lean on him instead of what is on this earth. The more that we played and practiced the praise and worship music that we were suppose to play tonight, the more that I did not want to stop.
So the night went on and we played at the celebration service. All during this time I didn't care about anything except worshiping God. After we stopped playing I still longed for more and more. I know this may sound very wierd to 90% of the readers out their but I have been going through a lot of struggles and I think God answered one of my prayers through this service tonight. For quite a while I was relying to much on other people for my energy and my motivation but through tonight I learned what it is really like to seek his face.
Chances are, if you see me in the street you are not going notice any difference about me externally. But internally, I feel a lot better knowing that I don't have to depend on anybody but him to give me everything that I need.
Best Wishes, Joshua Price