Something is really not clicking. I don’t know what it is. This is the second failed relationship attempt this year. The first one was because we were not that compatible and the second one was because she thinks that some things that she does counter to my personalities are annoying. I tried to convince her otherwise but she just said that she couldn’t see it working out. Then the conversation was over and then we hung up. I don’t know what it is about myself…am I too intense or serious? Do I focus too much? Is it bad that I already have aspirations, goals, dreams, and plans for my life when ever I’m only a junior in college?
Not to say this in a stuck up manner but I honestly believe that I am out of most of the girls leagues here. Other wise, why wouldn’t I be like every one of my friends dating hot chicks? Let me explain. I get up M-F every morning at 5-530am, eat a healthy breakfast, sometimes work out, and get ready for school. I am out the door by 6:30am to get to the parking garage on campus where I then proceed to read my bible and then study till my 8am class. For the next three hours I go to class. After that I come home and go about the days matters taking care of business around my apartment and doing homework till I have to go to work later that night. That if my average M-F schedule. On the weekends I still get up around 6:30-8ish (even if I go out late the night before) and tend to relax by accomplishing things or working outside. My body really won’t let me sleep in so I tend to make use of my time by getting things accomplished. I think my main thing is that I am so disciplined and leave no room for margins of error in my life that it scares off others. In all actuality, I don’t even think about that way. I am strict upon myself because I know within a year I am going to have venture out into the world and make a living to eventually buy a house, support a family, and protect those that I love. Just because I am strict upon myself doesn’t mean that I hold others under the same level of scrutiny. In fact, I know that I am one of a kind and one of few college students on my campus that have the type of vision and determination that I possess so it would be stupid to expect everyone else that I see as a perspective spouse or as friends to conform to my level. If you study human dynamics, in particular relationships, you would know that marriages usually work when ever one person’s personality balances another out, meaning that it would be illogical for me to date someone that is as intense as I am.
Eeeeeeeeerrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh……I guess I am just really frustrated because I am tired of something about this college life style and I really can’t place my finger on it. I sometimes feel like this is the best time of my life and then other times I feel really lonely and isolated. This is sad but it almost makes me want to give up on this whole dating in college thing. I know that there are awesome girls out there but for some reason, I am just not finding the right ones.
Best Wishes, Josh Price